Modine Gunch is no mere Southern humorist like Lewis Gizzard. No. Modine Gunch is Everywoman who thanks God for indoor plumbing because the bathroom is the only place to get away from the kids, who's tempted to clean the kitchen floor with a garden hose, who wonders why department stores arrange bras on racks by size but don't do the same with athletic supporters.

But she manages. She mops the floor with towels on each foot. She feeds her kids prunes and tells them they are Texas raisins. And she makes us laugh out loud, because her stories hit home.

Modine is Everywoman, with a hilarious outlook on life and a unique way of dealing with everyday problems. She doesn't believe there is such a thing as a morning person -- "because anybody who hums and whistles and tells knock-knock jokes before breakfast probably gets killed young." She mends the seat of her husband's pants with a stapler and warns him to be very, very careful when he sits down; when the oven breaks on Thanksgiving, Modine boils the turkey.

Modine is truly a woman for the new century -- she holds down a job as well as a household. She is frantic and frazzled, but most of all, she's funny.

To get a copy of Never Sleep with a Fat Man in July, please make a $10 donation to Hope House of New Orleans at:

Hope House
att: Don Everard
916 St. Andrew St.
New Orleans, LA 70130

Write "Modine Gunch" in the memo line, and a book will be sent to you. For more information about Hope House, visit

Coming in Fall 2010!
Five years ago, Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast, changing... everything.

Modine Gunch was there with her friends and family and, month after month, kept readers laughing through their tears on the events that followed.

These columns can be purchased – plus a few extra for lagniappe – as the third of Modine's books, Never Clean Your House During Hurricane Season. All the proceeds will go to charity, including The St. Bernard Project, a program that helps those affected by Katrina and the BP oil disaster in New Orleans’ neighboring parish of St. Bernard.

To place your order now, e-mail

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"With an unerring eye and a pitch-perfect voice, Liz Scott takes life's little irritants -- from a bad hair day to an impending hurricane -- and raises them to outrageous art."
-- Julia Reed, senior editor, Vogue magazine

"I know you won't believe this, folks, but every time I cross Erma Bombeck with Lewis Grizzard, what I get is Modine Gunch...a refreshing and original new voice in the comedic galaxy."
-- Lewis B. Frumkes, author of How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children

"The Gunch family is drawn exquisitely, with a subdued sense of humor. A sure winner here, and a witty, near-cult vision. ... Really funny, wonderful reading."
-- National Federation of Press Women

"Never Heave Your Bosom is one of the funniest books I've read in years. Where Erma Bombeck makes me smile in recognition, Modine had me falling out of my bed laughing."
-- Nashville Banner

"If the Erma Bombeck literary style is your cup of tea, then you will enjoy these servings of Modine Gunch's escapades. ... The book is funny and fun."
-- New Orleans Times-Picayune

© Liz Scott Monaghan (content) and Rosemary Ruiz Lewis (illustrations)